PLANET BRITNEY – YOUR WEEKLY BRITNEY SPEARS FIX – EDITION 10!

Have not got the time to catch up on Britney news every day? Well, we have got your back! Every week we will post the highlights of the past week and summarise the most important Britney news of the week.

Wanna know more? Click on the links to see our main page posts and see what our Aliens on Universe have to say about it…

TOT-ALLAY AUSTR-ALIEN

Firstly – before we even begin – we have officially hit a milestone y’all!! This is our 10th edition! And what better way to celebrate other than with the release of the Pretty Girls music video!

Mars: Mars to Earth lander!

Iggy: Earth Lander here! Zero Gravity device status, defective. CO2 status 98%.

Mars: Any form of habitation?

Iggy: Nothing much as a… Woah their KANGAROO! What the…

Mars: Cute, what is it?

Iggy: It’s cute alright… it’s got to be BRITNEY BITCH!

The level of patience this week was – well… let’s say practically non-existent, when the video, originally slated for release on Monday, was postponed and only released on Wednesday. Regardless of the delay, it is safe to say this GIF is a mirror image of every single Britney Army members’ reaction when the video hit VEVO…

SMACK US WITH A BOTTLE OF FANTASY TWIST AND CALL US SPEAR-ED! This video is too brilliant to be true! Cutney, Sassney, Danceney, Hotney, Driveney and Actney, (although this one does sound a bit spotty and odd) all in one video is just WAY too much to handle.. Collect our souls – we are READY! XD

IGGY – we have said it before and we will say it again – you deserve the crown for Britney Army President! We freaking love it – you and the DUDSTER are our new BFFS! The video is OUT OF THIS WORLD!

The critics are calling it awe-inspiring, a catchy gem and extremely cute. Even the flop of the flops – Daily Mail – who by the way do not grasp the concept that even the skinniest of SKINNIES have rolls when they sit – are calling the video a classic! Still, this does not make them less trash… with articles shaming woman’s bodies, especially one’s as hot as Britney’s, their reputation is literally hanging by a thread and it is time someone cuts it… But let’s get to the point, you really cannot hate on this video – unless you have some chromosomes missing…

You would not believe how many times we had this video on repeat here at HQ…. our VOCAB has LIKE, TOTALAY changed… LIKE OH MY GHAAD LIKE! This video has us SPAZZIN! Although you have probably seen the video over a thousand times already, we will not judge you if you want to watch it again…go on… we for sure have…

Most definitely the video of the year! B-IGGY have SLAYED – there just is no competition. Weaves have been snatched so hard – the roots have been removed! Say goodbye to your FAVES…

Make sure to Purchase your PRETTY GIRLS TEE by clicking HERE– They’re just so PRETTAY! And do not forget to REQUEST Pretty Girls – B said so, so you must obey!

Click HERE to read more. Click HERE for music video facts.

 

BILL AND HIS BOARD

We can hear you asking… who is BILL and why the hell do we care about his BOARD?? Well… it is simple really.. if your BILLS are not high, that means you have not purchased Pretty Girls enough for it to make the top of the BOARDS. You did not think we meant BILL the person, did you? SILLY BILLY’S!

The BILLBOARD HOT 100 numbers are in and Pretty Girls entered in at number…. WAIT FOR IT… 29! The highest debut of the week and no signs of slowing down.. Although this is an impressive start, we, the super powerful BARMY, can do better than that! Is 29 good enough?

Keep spreading the word and let’s get this SMASHA to number 1, where it belongs!!

Click HERE to read more.

 

NO DIRRTY TALK

OKAY, if we actually had a Genie In A Bottle, we would wish for a COLLAB between X-TINA and BRITNEY! It is literally what a fan wants, it’s what a fan needs! Look what AGGS had to say about the Jimmy Fallon (Britney impersonation) skit in an interview this week:

(Laughs) “I was surprised when This Little Piggy with Britney’s voice came up on the wheel, but I thought it was all in good fun. Doing impressions can go either way, so the fact that everyone liked it and could laugh with us was great. I think Britney is great.”

The level of emotions running through us right now would be enough to power the Billboard Music Awards. X-TINA we actually love you! Talking about the BBMA’S – some rumours have been flying around that B and X will be presenting an award together… PUHLEES let this be true! This may just be the best BBMA’S in history!

Click HERE to read more.

 

IMAGINE IF I WORK IT OUT

Remember those flawless Blackout lyrics? Ahh so do we, pure perfection.. only difference, these days, is you no longer have to imagine cause Brit hit the gym twice this week and we have the pics to prove it!

All these pics had us pumped and ready to hit the gym, so much so, we got dressed in our gym gear within seconds. We really had all intentions on going – but it would have been a waste to leave all these doughnuts on our desks uneaten… Maybe next week…

Just putting it out there, Brit has the best body in the industry by far! You can bet that on your man!

Click HERE and HERE to read more.

 

YOU CANNOT OWN THE QUEEN

The Queen has spoken y’all. We’re not quite sure who this was directed at – but Brit has made it pretty clear with this flawless T.

You tell ‘em B! Whoever it was, has definitely rattled the B hive!! Shortly after this – Brit posted this epic pic on BRITSTAGRAM:

Dishing out the SOUTHERN FRIED WHOOP-ASS and we love it. We right behind ya Brit! We are always ready for some WEAVE SNATCHIN’ when someone messes with the QUEEN!

It has to be said, we still cannot get the First Wives club song out of our heads though! We bust it out in the office every time we see the T. Good luck to our new neighbours at HQ – the last ones moved out during our last re-enactment.

One thing is for sure though – Kevin Federline is DEFO not on the hit list! Seems like K and B have got a good parenting thing going on. Read about it HERE.. Perfection!

Click HERE to read more.

SO-SO ARTSY FARTSY!

Martijn Konijenberg spilled the BEANZ this week about the mysterious album 9. Martijn confirmed that he has written a track (alongside Richard ‘Body Ache’ Vission) for album 9 and is not sure it will make the final cut. In fact he mentioned that he was surprised the track was picked up at all, as he felt that it was not his best work – even calling the track SO-SO.

SO-SO? SAY WHAT? Not to worry Martijn, Britney has the ability to make your work much better than it is! Just sit back and watch her WORK IT!

Click HERE for full details.

TID – BRITS

You know that moment when you are completing a puzzle and there are just extra pieces that do not fit…. Well we don’t – and if you have had this problem – you should have taken that puzzle back to the manufacturer, that shiz is broke! Our situation is different – all of these are social networking pieces that fit just right, in this section, just like a puzzle should.

Let’s get straight into it then – by starting off with this super cute tweet:

Momeny is just the best! Let’s hope Brit got super spoilt on Mother’s day this week! She is just out of this world. Talking about OUT OF THIS WORLD, which seems to be the theme this week – in case you have not noticed (pretty fitting as we are called Planet Britney – don’t you think?) check out this HILLARE throwback tweet:

Shout-out to the original Spaceney, you little red extraterrestrial, you!! Digital Spy added to the tweet and made this moment even more special..

HA! These tweets are totally CRAY! Someone should seriously get onto an OOPS and PG video mash-up!

Now if you are like us and have watched the Pretty Girls music video over a thousand times – you would have noticed a COOL AS BEANS Pink MateFit bottle in the very beginning. Want one? Check out this tweet:

PROMO-NEY was out, full force this week.  Not gonna lie – we would never have purchased one of these if it wasn’t for Brit – still waiting for the tea’s to arrive – they actually sound pretty good!

Whilst we are on the topic of Promo-ney – Brit took some time to tweet a SHOUT OUT to one of her BFF’s, who also happens to be a worldwide icon, just like Brit:

The track is flawless! Good job Mr T!

BRITSTAGRAM time – check out this Henry James poem that Brit shared with fans this week:

A post shared by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on

We have tried to decipher the meaning of this post – but to be honest – all we could come up with is that Britney is moving to England – which of course has nothing to do with anything and is definitely not happening. However, we would not be opposed to BRITISHNEY and a UK residency would be life!

Now let’s get to #PrettyGirlTalk. Yup, that is a thing now. Britney took to Twitter this week to chat to fans, it all started like this:

So here is a breakdown of what we got from the chat. Whilst listening (and apparently screaming out the lyrics at the top of her lungs) to Miley’s, ‘We Can’t Stop’  Brit told fans that Hey Mama was on her current playlist, that she is excited for the BBMA’s, the BBMA’s will include a BLAST of some sort, her fans would be described as loyal (damn right), confirmed that her ankle was much better, that she just ate a sweet potato, her fave pizza would have to include no calories (we wish), her fave emotes are the rocket, the high five (which let’s all be honest here – you all thought were prayer hands) and the dancing lady and that her fave lip balm would have to be cherry. No, wait, actually kiwi strawberry.

Oh.. we forgot to mention – there were also a few ‘hellos’ and follows to bulk posters… you know the ones who swear that if they do not get a follow they will eat their cat… but you knew that already…

PHEW – that was intense!

Click HEREHERE and HERE to read more…

 

CELEB-RITNEY

EXTRA EXTRA – TWEET ALL ABOUT IT! The hype around the Pretty Girls video has been insane! And there are no signs of slowing down. Check out these super legends giving Brit some love!

YESS! Flawless tweets, may we add! Britney, just this week, posted about Steven Tyler’s new track and Brit did the same for Avril just a few weeks back! Awesome to see the love returned.  Jamie Lynn also popped online to give her big SIS some love:

The video of the year is out! You heard ‘em all – get watching and let’s get Pretty Girls certified!

Whilst we are on the topic of celebrities – do yourself a favor and take a moment to watch THIS Hayden Panettiere flashback, singing (you Drive Me) Crazy at the Rosie O’Donnel show 2000.  It is too ADORBS to deal with!

We kind of wish we sounded as adorable when we sang to Brit… It would save us a lot of death stares…

Click HERE and HERE to read more.

 

PLEASE DO NOT BREATH ON ME

ATTENTION PLEASE! Brit has a NEW smoking hot outfit for POM! Ring the alarm as there is going to be a fire!

We gonna put it out there – this is officially our fave costume change yet! May 15th – you are in our books as a day to remember.

MAJOR LOL ALERT! Britney’s Freakshow boy for the 15th May had a little bit too much to drink – prompting Brit to say that he reeked of alcohol….AWKWARD! Check the video out below:

Ten PM to 4 and he’s drunk and on the floor…. TOTES LOL!

Click HERE to read more.

 

A TOP BILL PERFORMANCE

Calling all EARTHLINGS! An Extra-terrestrial has landed and is taking over our television screens. The world is in panic. It has been 4 years since the last take over and this one threatens to be even more intense than before. The Billboard Music Awards will never be the same again!

This is Planet Britney reporting live from nowhere near Vegas and around us BARMY activists have lost their minds. This week, a full 4:28 video of the ET duo appeared online just prior to the live invasion and boy was it PRETTAY!

It seems the pair come with back up (dancers) and they have been taunting us with teasers of their rehearsals to take over the world.

Not long after, the Queen B of the operation continued the torment the world by using her human communicator, Twitter.

When asked to comment on their plan of attack, the Queen B made sure we knew they were not playing around this time.

This is not a drill! We can confirm that blasts have been threatened and the world will not be able to deal! We can also confirm that the heat has been turned up, as the seating plans of the BOARD has also been revealed.

That is correct, the Queen B of all aliens will be showing the new Vegas Resident how it is done(See POM links HERE Mariah, you are welcome), with not only a front seat view, but also a step by step guide throughout the show, how very CARE-Y of the Queen.

But WAIT there is more! The Vegas Leach has confirmed, that the aliens will be teleporting from Planet Hollywood, to the Billboards LIVE! Well… Kinda…

Both ET’s have been spotted snooping about the MGM grand for interviews about their take over, and the Queen B even left the building in a suspicious red car accompanied by her partner in crime Charlie.

https://twitter.com/adambombshow/status/599683645046034432/

Believe us you will not want to miss this!

The wait is finally over – today is the day BARMY. Get your sunglasses ready! NO – not to hide your tears of joy – but for the explosions of course!

Hold up – did someone spike our coffee? And are we seriously gonna publish this? Well, why the hell not – if worst comes to WORSERER – we can save our credibility by letting the fans listen to these flawless Pretty Girls Remixes!

https://soundcloud.com/jasonnevins/pretty-girl-teaser-clip

You are WELCOME!

P.S. Just in case you missed this – do not forget to listen to the AMP radio interview HERE 

Till next week y’all. Make sure to have your paper bags ready for tonight’s performance. Remember Breath in slowly….. exhale fast! GIGGLE…

Click HEREHERE, HERE  and HERE to read more.